According to a well-known study by Professor Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, an expert in personal communication, believability in a message is comprised of three elements. Those message elements are verbal (your words), vocal (your tone of voice) and visual (your facial expressions and body language). Meharabian researched which elements people find the most believable when they receive an inconsistent message. For example, envision a new employee in front of you saying, “I’m excited about this job,” While they make this statement, they are looking downward, examining their fingernails. They do not make eye contact. Their voice is shaky and soft. This employee is giving you an inconsistent message. The research determined that we “weight” each of the elements in the following manner: Verbal = 7% Vocal = 38% Visual = 55% Total = 100% What does this mean to our Telephone image? Clearly, when we lose the “Visual” element over the telephone, we are losing the most “believable” portion of the message. So it means that our tone of voice is even more important than our words when we are trying to convey a professional, courteous and caring image. Recognizing and controlling your tone of voice requires awareness and practice.

Manner #1 – When asking for something say “Please.”

Manner #2 – When receiving something, say “Thank you.”  Hand written Thank You Notes are even better.

Manner #3 – Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Manner #4 – If you do need to get somebody’s attention right away, the phrase “excuse me” is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

Manner #5 – When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

Manner #6 – The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of others.

Manner #7 – Do not comment on other people’s physical characteristics unless, of course, it’s to compliment them, which is always welcome.

Manner #8 – When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Manner #9 – When you have spent time at your friend’s house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Manner #10 – Knock on closed doors — and wait to see if there’s a response — before entering.

Manner #11 – When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

Manner #12 – Be appreciative and say “thank you” for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

Manner #13 – Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Manner #14 – Don’t call people mean names.

Manner #15 – Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.  “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel”. – Bible, Proverbs 11:17

Manner #16 – Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

Manner #17 – If you bump into somebody, immediately say “Excuse me.”

Manner #18 – Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don’t pick your nose in public.

Manner #19 – As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Manner #20 – If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say “yes,” do so — you may learn something new.

Manner #21 – When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

Manner #22 – When someone helps you, say “thank you.” That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

Manner #23 – Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

Manner #24 – Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Manner #25 – Don’t reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

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